Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Darth Politico is not going dark! We LOVE SOPA! (or why Death Stars are GOOD Things)

Editorial by Darth Pundit

You may have noticed the Internet is different today. Big sites like Wikipedia, Reddit, and others are engaging in a foolish display of rebellion in an attempt to stop the eventual control of free expression by faceless, multinational, profit-driven corporations (the best kind). Our friends over at BigShinyRobot have even joined this "rebel alliance" in an attempt to flex the internet community's collective muscle and imagine a world where any site can be shut down and blocked without due process.

I say who needs them? What internet content isn't available that an entertainment corporation hasn't prepackaged into a format that maximizes their profit and limits your ability to share with your friends? You can still watch all of those clips of The Simpsons on hulu, but none on youtube, because that would be piracy.

And we hate pirates. You know who was a pirate? Han Solo. What a douche. Trying to escape paying import tarrifs or running illegal spice to lowlifes like the Hutts. 

That's why we need SOPA-- a bill with the ability to simply target a website, then crush it with one swift stroke.

See? Like that. Fear-- fear will keep the local systems in line, without the need for bureaucracy and due process. The last remnants of our old republic will be swept away.

Word has it that SOPA's sponsor, Lamar Smith (R/Imperial - TX) has put the brakes on the Death Star DNS blocking portion of SOPA, but let's be honest here: why would you set up a bill to set up a galactic empire and NOT keep the death star plans in there? We all know the fine folks at Clearchannel and Comcast and Viacom are going to get what they want-- they're going to keep pushing for the bill with its Death Star provisions. And putting it on hold to "Study" it are Washinton-speak for "let's just wait until we think people aren't watching and we'll slip it  back in."

Indeed, I have high hopes for SOPA and its Death Star, and the only way you'll ever stop it is either to sever the ties between Big Money and our politics (and good luck on coming up with a plan for that) or to metaphorically crucify and then kick out of office every single politician who would dare to make the Internet a less free place. Again, like that's gonna happen,

So, just go about your business. Nothing to see here. Certainly no protest to join, no cause to rally to. I mean, really-- what the F#@# are going to do against a Death Star? (which is totally necessary, by the way!)

Oh, my staff have a counterpoint posted here. Off to force-choke the hell out of some unruly copywriters!

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